10 Life-Changing Lessons from Susan Cain’s “Quiet”

“Don’t mistake assertiveness or eloquence for good ideas.”

Jan 13, 2025

From dusk to dawn, spanning from the bustling streets of New York City to the secluded jungles of Nigeria’s Niger Delta, our planet is being consumed by ceaseless chatter and runaway non-stop talking.

While some of us prefer to stay in this continuous “talkative world”, others prefer to flee from our noise-saturated, maddening crowd.

Why do we frequently underestimate the quiet strength of introverted people? What might we be missing out on by consistently glorifying extroverted and outspoken individuals as our first choice?

Susan Cain’s book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” offers insights into these inquiries.

Quiet reveals why individuals, organizations, and society frequently fail to take introverts seriously. In addition, she provided insight into the losses that organizations and entire societies experience when they consistently show a preference for extroverts.

Are you an introvert?

An introvert is a person who is more energized through solitary activities and internal contemplation, typically favoring quieter and less stimulating surroundings.

Or an extrovert?

In contrast, social interactions and external stimuli energize extroverts. They are inherently sociable and outgoing, thriving in settings that facilitate social interaction.

Extroverts typically gravitate towards social activities and relish being in the spotlight. Typically, they are more at ease in group settings and often exude enthusiasm and are assertive.

I’d rather be an ambivert.

Ambi… whaat?

Yes, I’d rather be an ambivert with most of my weight leaning towards the introvert end of the scale.

According to Mrs. Cain, an ambivert is a blend of introverted and extroverted personality traits. An ambivert displays both introvert and extrovert characteristics.

Ambiverts can comfortably switch between introverted and extroverted behaviors depending on the situation.

If you identify as an ambivert, you are the kind of person who is comfortable with solitude. Not only are you able to participate and enjoy social interactions, you also value your alone time.

Meaning, that ambiverts can adapt themselves to fit appropriately in the introversion — extroversion continuum. The character they display depends on what the situation throws at them.

As someone who enjoys quietness and solitude, Quiet resonated with me at various levels. The author convincingly assures readers there is no disadvantage in being one instead of the other.

For me, I prefer being an ambivert rather than strictly identifying as an introvert or extrovert. However, if I must identify with only one of the two, I can no more run away from my skin than I can part ways with my shadow.

Introversion has already chosen me.

Introversion and extroversion can be seen as preferences for different levels of stimulation. This means that individuals often intentionally seek out environments conducive to their personality.
In business, extroverts are more likely to be highly reward-sensitive, while introverts tend to pay more attention to risks and cautionary signals. “When it comes time to make group decisions, extroverts would do well to listen to introverts — especially when they see problems ahead.”
“People with certain personality types got control of capital and institutions and power and people who are congenitally more cautious and introverted and statistical in their thinking became discredited and pushed aside.”
The extroverts are more likely to focus on what’s happening around them. It’s as if extroverts are seeing “what is” while their introverted peers are asking “what if.” Therefore, we all need to strike a balance between these two.
In her emphasis, trailblazing extroverts who forge ahead quickly are not being denigrated. Neither are the reflective and the careful introverts being blindly adored.

Dr. Cain cited an example that succinctly illustrates why business leaders and management must pay attention and balance both personality types in their decision-making processes.

For example, if you were staffing an investment bank, management professor Kuhnen told me, you’d want to hire not only reward-sensitive types, who are likely to profit from bull markets, but also those who remain emotionally more neutral.
You’d want to make sure that important corporate decisions reflect the input of both kinds of people, not just one type. And you’d want to know that individuals on all points of the reward-sensitivity spectrum understand their own emotional preferences and can temper them to match market conditions.”

6.Cultivate the ability to detect and act on warning signs. Here is her example.

Warren Buffett, the legendary investor and one of the wealthiest men in the world, has used exactly the attributes we’ve explored in this chapter — intellectual persistence, prudent thinking, and the ability to see and act on warning signs — to make billions of dollars for himself and the shareholders in his company, Berkshire Hathaway.
7. In the United States, he warned, you need style as well as substance if you want to get ahead. It may not be fair, and it might not be the best way of judging a person’s contribution to the bottom line, “but if you don’t have charisma you can be the most brilliant person in the world and you’ll still be disrespected.”

Just as it is in the United States, so it is in many other places: learn, know, act, and work smarter.

8. The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers — of persistence, concentration, insight, and sensitivity — to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, think deeply.

This calls you to be comfortable in your skin, be the best version of yourself, for the best you can offer to your world.

9.Make the most of introverts’ strengths — these are the people who can help you think deeply, strategize, solve complex problems, and spot canaries in your coal mine.

Don’t mistake assertiveness or eloquence for good ideas.

10.Some people act like extroverts, but the effort costs them so much energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof or self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama.

So the next time you see a person with a composed face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, or designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet.

Favorite Quotes

In our culture, guilt is a tainted word, but it’s probably one of the building blocks of conscience.
Embarrassment reveals how much the individual cares about the rules that bind us to one another.
Persistence isn’t very glamorous. If genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration, then as a culture we tend to lionize the one percent. We love its flash and dazzle. But great power lies in the other ninety-nine percent.
It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s that I stay with problems longer. ~ Albert Einstein)
In a gentle way, you can shake the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Perhaps instead of trying to change their ways, colleges can learn to listen to their sound of silence. ~ Heejung Kim
The wind howls, but the mountain remains still. ~ Japanese Proverb
Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know. ~ Lao Z
Pay attention to what you envy. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth.
Mark this well, ye proud men of action! Ye are, after all, nothing but unconscious instruments of the men of thought. ~ Heinrich Heine

Parting Words.

Susan Cain’s “Quiet” draws our attention to introversion, contrasting the contemplative introvert with the action-oriented extrovert.
Extroversion and introversion are not set in stone. The challenge lies in being true to oneself. Only then can you present your best to the world without compromising your authenticity.
Regardless of where you stand on the spectrum of these two personality types, the ultimate goal is to make our world better by finding a harmonious balance of power between them.