3 Simple Strategies to Effectively Handle Online Abuse
3 Simple Strategies to Effectively Handle Online Abuse
Now, you can surf the raging social media without getting burnt.
Don’t be that person who attacks or demeans others just because you are unable to convince them.
Oh, you are right, that’s my dad. The vitriol on social media these days is alarming. I have been inactive on Facebook and Twitter partly for this reason.
Debates become violent arguments that lead nowhere, they change no mind, it’s just insults. LinkedIn and Instagram are gradually becoming like that, though still a bit saner.
Thanks for the kind words and my regards to your family as well.
Those were my friend’s reply when I told him I’m always reminiscing on invaluable advice he gave over 20 years ago. Ever since then, Ayo’s (not the real name) counsel has been a lifelong guiding light principle. It comes to my mind anytime I encounter internet tirade minions.
We’ve never met one-on-one, but our chats always leave me upbeat and as if we’ve just been apart a fortnight ago.
He was at a loss to know which of his practical advice had stuck on. To refresh his memory, I sent him my reply.
If I remember correctly, you passed on this lesson from your dad. You said your old man taught you that, “If my argument is not convincing enough, there is no need to resort to insults. All I need to do is to step up my reasoning and counter my naysayers with superior reasons.”
I always remember you and daddy’s timeless wisdom any time I read people resorting to unnecessary abuses and verbal warfare on social media.
I’m not 100% sure now if my attribution is correct. But I’ve always connected it to you anytime I use it. You must forgive me if I’m wrong. I’m no longer sure if my recitation was correct. Please correct me if it isn’t.
You read his answer in the first paragraph of my story.
Except for those still cocooned in stone-age corners of our planet, more and more people are on the web these days. Once people go online, they immediately start using social media and chat apps.
Engaging on social media often leads to arguments, as is common in human interactions. Even if you are peaceful and accommodating, someone online will probably insult you without reason.
These 3 simple approaches have never failed me at warding off online wrangling.
Considering your life’s grand purpose and mission, is what you are arguing about really consequential? Ask yourself, what do I find offensive about this statement and why do I even find it so? Always remember the popular saying, “If it is not going to matter in 5 years, don’t spend 5 minutes being upset by it.’
“If your arguments are not convincing enough, step up your arguments”, is the inspiration for this piece. Even if your points are convincing, arguing might not be worth it. Why? Because of people’s propensity to confirm Bonhoeffer’s Theory of Stupidity, no hearts get changed. Is winning an argument worth sacrificing your sanity, peace of mind, or sanity for?
Don’t insist on always winning the argument. There are times when the best thing to do is to go home and sleep over it. Agreed. This is easier said than done when caught in the heat of online bickering. But, by allowing the light of a new day to shine on your die-hard arguments, you may discover that all you’ve been arguing over is not worth it.
“Road rage” drivers seem to be always on a mission to prove how smatter they are, compared to other drivers. They will harass and dare you to do them back as they have done to you. Many accidents have resulted in many otherwise harmless drivers who didn’t know better than to bite the bait.
In like manner, many of the anonymous people you connect to on the internet are only there to annoy and heckle you while desecrating all rules of basic civility. Once you notice any comment coming from bad-faith arguments, either don’t reply or end the arguments similar to “OK, I hear you.”
You are always just one or a few clicks away from ever-present online arguments and quarrels. In such instances, it is easy to fall into the tar-pits of being the last man standing, the smartest or all-knowing guy/gal in the room — the only winner. In reality, no one eventually wins.
You owe yourself the duty to stop self-hurting through online acrimony.
How do you do it?
Ask, “Does this argument really matter?”
If you must argue, do it in peace and match every argument with better counterpoints, or break out of that stinging chat thread.
Don’t insist on always winning all arguments.
Thanks for reading.
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The points read are very helpful in the online space. Thanks for sharing. My favorite point is "Don't insist on winning an argument" because no one actually wins. Very profound.