Between My Russian Friends and My Ukrainian Brothers
5 Lessons — Why I can’t desert my friends even as my brothers are fleeing.
I’ve never been to Ukraine. Neither have I ever stopped over in Russia.
Whereas my Russian friend has been of great help to me and my family, since last February, my brethren in Ukraine are facing the throes of an unprovoked war.
A war hatched and sustained through the ill courtesy of Russia’s Vladimir Putin.
And there is yet no end in sight to this ill wind.
None of us is as immune from its fallouts as we may wish to think we are.
Sooner or later, you or someone you know may be on the wrong side of its brutal edge.
Those who think the Russian-Ukraine war will never affect them are being touched in unforeseen ways. Most of those affected are oblivious to the source of their suffering.
While some countries are raking in increased revenues from oil sales, others are not so fortuitous. For many European countries, a foreboding winter awaits them as their formerly near and cheap source of heating gas — Russia, has cut off energy supplies.
In Nigeria, we felt the effects of Russia’s invasion and war with Ukraine almost instantly.
Like me, many Nigerians have friends and relations in Ukrainian universities. These all had to flee to European countries to escape being caught in the middle of the war.
A family friend had to flee to Poland before finding his way back home. Another, with two years to complete his studies, also fled. Both were studying to become doctors. Ab initio, many of these students went there on a one-way ticket; stay and study in Ukraine for 5 years or more. Returning home only after completing your studies was the caveat.
It is to the credit of affected Ukrainian universities that they transferred their programs to other Eastern European countries. Despite this, many of my now “compulsorily back home” brethren can no longer afford the visas or flight tickets to these accommodating affiliate European institutions.
A quick end to the war is not yet in sight. And obviously, things won’t get normalized in a fortnight when peace returns.
Nigerians and other nationals are fleeing Ukraine in the face of Vladimir Putin’s onslaught. Still, I can’t even contemplate abandoning my Russian friends.
Why?
It’s all because of a friend. He is a Russian.
We could have been aliens from different galaxies, but I call him a friend. Our only meeting to date has been via social media through which we became business partners.
Our business was on an upswing trajectory before the war started. Now it has nosedived. The fallout of the sanctions the West imposed on Russia.
As the war progresses, the noose of sanctions keeps tightening. Western companies fled Russia. It was an ill wind and unintended consequences soon followed the intended ones. Everyone is feeling the heat.
In all his chats, my Russian friend has not dared to allude to the war in Ukraine. One of his WhatsApp messages was heart-wrenching.
Every partner nowadays hesitates about relationship with Russian company. It’s sad but true.
To me, hidden within the message is an agonized plea. I’ve resolved to stay true for as long as it takes.
My company represents Russian concerns. Prior to the war, our operations were growing, and we were looking forward to hiring more hands. Now, the business has ground to a standstill.
Don’t misunderstand me. If outright cutting off from my Russian partner will stop the war, I will gladly and quickly do it.
But then, how can I abandon a friend who has stood firm for me in the past just because of the wrong actions of his government against another (or even your own) country?
How can I renounce a beleaguered associate who is still concerned about my welfare? Even up till now in the face of a harrowing war.
I’ve asked myself these questions repeatedly.
Tell me, what will you do if you were in my shoes?
For all I am worth, and with my present state of mind, I ought to be fighting on the Ukrainian side by now.
But I’ve never been to Ukraine.
I would have been fighting on the Ukrainian side. Yes, even while still holding tight to my Russian friend and benefactor.
Now, you know my stand for all its mettle.
I’m not writing about the rightness or wrongness of either of the parties. But we all know that neutrality emboldens oppressors and gives free rein to tyrants. Hence, each one of us must take sides. And we must have the courage to stand with all the oppressed people of this world.
My goal is that we start elevating our common humanity and to remind us of our interconnectedness.
Here are my personal lessons.
1. We are more connected than disconnected
So, don’t anesthetize yourself with “It is none of my business.” Sooner than later, it either becomes your business or your business goes down South because of the war.
In unexpected ways, any of your brothers and friends all over the world may soon get caught up in this war’s nasty thickness.
Our world is an interwoven one, and the impact of one misdeed affects us all to an increasing extent. If we want to survive, we have to practice benevolence.
2. No nation ever outsurvives its values
When an anonymous Russian dissident wrote that her nation’s worst failures were in their values, her message immediately hit me in the guts. Exactly those same words describe my unnation — Nigeria.
No matter how technologically advanced or materially endowed, as our personal and national values go down the drain, so we all go. There is no recall. And there can be no escape.
With every new day of this disgusting war, I have less and less hope for Russia to change.
For me, this is not a war of global powers, nor is it a war of one insane person anymore.
This is the war of values. Sadly, it became clear that people in Russia almost completely lost touch with real human values.
It happens when you lose your personality. When you struggle so much to the point that you don’t care about your own choices, your future, and naturally, you no longer care about others.
Many don’t care about their government’s misrule and atrocities perpetrated in the name of their country, so long as they are not being negatively touched.
But, we must, and ought to stand up against misrule at home or abroad.
An evil plan can’t succeed without a high body count of silent but complicit majorities who choose to support their rulers’ inhumane policies at home and abroad.
On the web, a major news outlet refused to call the war by its real name, branding it the Ukraine-Russia war. Some other double-talkers from sensational YouTube propaganda channels re-labeled Putin’s aggression and occupation of Eastern Ukraine as a NATO-Russia war.
3. By outsourcing politics to politicians (only), we checkmate ourselves (in the long run).
For me, this is the first and most vital lesson.
As it is for individuals, so it is for nations. Even though we all cry our personal cries, we all share a common humanity.
Therefore, we must be concerned. Otherwise, our welfare won’t last if our governments insist on evil actions against those far from our shores.
As much as 65% of Russians were reported to be unconcerned about Putin’s trampling on their brother nation — Ukraine. Many of them only started fleeing Russia when Putin insisted they must go and die for him.
According to Nadin Brzezinski, Putin is also demanding that the rest of the world must back off while he destroys Ukraine. He blackmails and dares the rest of us with his nukes.
Has any leader gone more insane than that?
However, as cynical as I am about this, it’s showing something else. Russians in large cities are slowly waking up to the reality that disengagement from politics has a price. Mind you; they don’t show any signs that they care about the death of Ukrainians or war crimes.
Himself a Russian, Dr. Vlad Vexler pronounced all Russians complicit in the war. He showed how citizens pay stiff prices for outsourcing their nation’s politics to politicians only.
Even benevolent dictators must never be trusted to keep power and their sanity and humanity forever. For, in the long run, the rulers become more and more authoritarian.
Colin Horgan brilliantly explained how tyrannical laws took over Nazi Germany in a downward, drip-by-drip spiral of evil. Unjust laws become instruments of choice and the long-placid citizens couldn’t stand up to resist the transfiguration of their leader into a monster.
In all his correspondences, my Russian friend dare not refer to the war by its real name. In Russia, criticizing Putin’s government is treason, and calling the war by its real name is entering the jaws of long jail terms.
Politics may be dirty because of how the principal players choose to play it. The lesson here is that the price we pay (in terms of gone-astray rulers) for our noninvolvement in politics is precipitous to nation-building and the sustenance of democracy. And this can happen to any nation.
4. Unbridled pacifism emboldens aggressors and “misrulers”.
Western powers are running war games and permutations to figure out what Putin will do next. But whatever they do or choose to not do, pacifism or appeasement must never be an option.
Not because war-mongering is OK. But because history has shown that conciliation never works with tyrants. If you want peace and ever hope to sustain it, you must prepare for war while holding the olive branch of friendship at the ready all the time.
5. If you can’t stop the war, don’t add fuel to the fire
As the war rages and Western powers seek to curb Putin’s choking hold on Ukraine, others are engaged in moral double standards. Some of those whose countries are suffering from the aggression of other powers are right now relishing Putin’s “power justify the ends” mischiefs in Ukraine.
Rightly or wrongly, most of them adopt this position to spite the West and America.
Some sensational YouTubers mislead their audience, calling the war a NATO Russia war despite the former’s restraints from direct confrontation. Their joy is to see the West held back from supporting Ukraine to pave the way for Putin to resurrect the dead and discredited USSR/Russian empire.
They also presume to know better than Norway, Sweden and the Baltic nations who are trying to join or have joined the NATO alliance. Dismissive of Eastern European (former Soviet Bloc) countries that flocked into NATO at first chance, they do not want to hear these nation’s side of the story.
These are the ones who never miss the chance to despise America and the West. Yet, many of their citizens are fleeing their home countries for refuge in America and Europe but never to Russia, China or Iran.
Others remorselessly look away from war atrocities in Ukraine, gloss over the humanitarian crisis of Ukrainians fleeing their country or of Russians fleeing their home to avoid forfeiting their heads in Putin’s unjust war.
What America and the West were being condemned for doesn’t become right when another nation engages in it. But moral equivocation will destroy us all.
The right way to quench fire is not by adding more fuel to the conflagration.
Let us seek for peace and ensue it and in the words of Dr. Vlad Vexler, “let’s not face evil by turning our backs against it.”
Your Takeaways
We are more connected than disconnected.
No nation ever out survives its values. When values die, the nation will rot away — from inside.
By outsourcing politics to politicians (only), we checkmate ourselves as citizens (in the long run).
Unbridled pacifism emboldens aggressors and misrulers. You must take a stand.
If you can’t stop the war, don’t add fuel to the fire. We can’t confront or defeat evil by turning our backs on it.
Thank you for reading.
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This story was originally published in Medium
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What is going in our world is affecting every human.
An evil plan can’t succeed without a high body count of silent but complicit majorities who choose to support their rulers’ inhumane policies at home and abroad.
I must agree with you. If evil is watered something will grow.