Empathy as a Double-Edged Sword
They prey on empathy. Don't be a victim.
The problem today is people don’t cherish good people. They try to use them.
~Bob Marley (1945–1981)
The unknown caller sounded uncannily like my in-law. His woeful, sickly plea for financial help roped me in. Almost.
Supposedly, he had admitted his wife into the hospital and required surgery because of a ruptured appendix. The doctor will only proceed with the surgery after receiving a cash payment of N250,000 upfront. That was what the gloomy voice claimed.
All my bullshit warning antennae were off. The only saving grace was my being true to myself.
Come to think of it, who won't help a cordial in-law? But I was in the thick smoke of "financially broke" too. This is Nigeria, and like lizards, every man daily endures his financial stomachache unknown to the other.
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm broke.
Tearingly, he pared down his request to half the initial sum.
Sorry, I can't.
Down and down he went. I was unmoved, not because I was heartless. I don't have the means to help.
The following day, I called him to ask about his family’s double-whammy health condition. This time, his request was for a paltry sum for him to “airtime” his phone.
My answer was a relentless "No" - just as before.
Maybe he hasn't been able to reach his daughter- and son-in-law. So I called them to reach out to their man …
Long story short, my real in-law called me on the third day. He and his wife were buoyant, sprite, and healthy.
Some time ago, I wrote a story about avoiding becoming a victim of your empathy.
Always remember in this jungle called Nigeria, "There is no brother in the jungle."
Like popular Nigerian Senator Shehu Sani astutely quipped, "Don't count your friends until when you need them". The numbers I have are fewer than the fingers on my hands.
Of course, I have loyal friends who will open their doors and hearts to me at any hour of the day. You have dependable friends who will be there for you, and you will be there for them, too.
I narrowly escaped being duped.
Key Takeaways
This is Nigeria. New 419 tricks spring up every day. Be alert. Be aware of common tricks crooks often used to dupe the unsuspecting users of social media and the internet.
By all means, help others. Sooner than later, you may need their help too. Sometimes, you may even have to bend back and do more. It is called self-sacrifice. But first, be true to yourself. Always. These days, people don't value good people. Instead, many take advantage of those who are empathetic. Don’t be a victim.
Stay vigilant. Digital/biometric footprints and signatures, yours and those of others, can be duplicated. Malevolent actors use such cloned versions to confuse you into parting with your hard-earned scarce money. Whenever any interaction or request looks/sounds suspicious, apply your brakes. Don't throw caution to the winds. You already know that.
Thanks for your reading time
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